1 1/2 Stars
Directed by: Michael Bay
Summary: The dynamic duo of Detective Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Detective Marcus Burnett
(Martin Lawrence) are back fighting crime the only way they know how: Blowing stuff up and killing potential suspects / witnesses. This time, the two of them are leading a task force to stop a drug ring that is responsible for the import of ecstasy (X) into Miami. They catch the bad guys, kill a bunch of people, wreck countless buildings / cars and manage to find humor in all of it.
This movie is truly a hybrid. The director, Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock) knows as much as anyone about directing a high body count movie he is a talented action movie director. The writers, George Gallo (See Spot Run, Double Take) and Marianne Wibberly (I Spy) are poster children for why we should repeal the First Amendment (Freedom of Speech). They should not be permitted to say or write anything ever.
I hate for this review to sound cliché, but this movie is nothing BUT a cliché. EVERYTHING about this movie was stolen from another movie. Has anyone else ever seen a movie where two cops, one being single and reckless and the other being married and ready to "settle down" are investigating a big case and have an angry Captain who is always yelling at them and riding their butts about the damage they wreak as a result of their techniques yet they continue to do things their own way against his orders and then end up being forgiven because the end justifies the means due to the fact that they solved the crime? Anyone? Seriously. Anyone? This script is pure poetry. I cant remember the last time I watched such an inspired, imaginative story. The only inaccuracy in the movie was the fact that we are supposed to believe that X is imported. Everyone knows that most of the X on our streets was made right here in American labs. Coke and Weed are imported.
The dialog is nothing but an endless barrage of Will setting up Martin for a punch line or vice-versa. They (the writers) also go out of their way to make Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) tragically hip. Look, youre not fooling anyone. I remember when Will Smith was the second half of the 80s hip hop act "DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince". I remember the rhymes and baggy, neon clothing so, give it up.
I had to completely turn off my brain to view this movie. Unfortunately, without any sort of stimuli, my body followed. I fell asleep right there in the theater. Luckily for me, it was an afternoon showing on a weekday and the theater was mostly empty when my own snoring woke me up.
My rating: 1 ½ stars and that is only because they have a two minute scene in a Techno / Trance bar where there is a high concentration of hot, scantily-clad women shaking their groove thangs.